Some sort of Ramble about stuff

Just a ramble...

Hello people of the internet! I’m Ross, and fear not, I’m not here to sell you anything. I just wanted to talk shit I guess because part of me feels… a bit… I donno. Not right? Stressed maybe? Just off. Fuck knows.

I know we’re hitting that time of year where 99% of businesses are like “HEY GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!” so feeling “off” at this time of year might cost us.

I know I should ignore this feeling, suck it up, and just put on a face until mid December then deal with it. But I don’t really feel it. Sometimes I don’t really fancy running a business. Which is a hard thing to feel I guess.

I think sometimes I still see myself as someone who dicks about on the internet who “happens” to then sell stuff for a living. But the “business” is just a by-product of me wanting to do shit online.

Anyway… I’m totally going off point. I guess I just mean that we’re not a typical business in the sense that we never really intended on this happening the way that it has. I’m still shocked that any of you guys actually come back - or even order in the first place. You’d think after almost three years that I’d be used to the fact that people order off us. But maybe that self doubt will always be there.

It’s actually one of the harder parts of running a business. That constant feeling of “will people still care tomorrow?” But for some reason you guys still do.

I think I’m going off point again…

Although to be fair, I don’t know what my point was when I started writing this.

Sometimes I load substack up with the aim of just writing shite in the hopes that by the end of it I feel better. What happens between the start of a newsletter and the end is anyone’s guess.

But I just feel a bit off I guess.

I think me and Rachel both have our eyes slightly set on Christmas and knowing that we can close the website on December 19th and kinda forget about it all for a bit. Because - without sounding like an ungrateful arsehole - this shit is mentally exhausting at times.

To be fair, if it was just the business then I know it would be alright. But 3 kids man. Fuck me that shit is draining. Actually, fuck the business side of things. Running Teddy Eva Scents is actually a break. It’s like a fun little hobby that one of us gets to go off and do whilst the other one treads water with a bunch of mini psychos.

I’d love to go back to the 23 year old Ross and hear him say “oooo it’s been a busy day hasn’t it” just so I can slap the bastard and go “Fuck off, son. Wait until you’re 31!”

I do try and keep a positive mindset. I practice the whole “gratitude” thing on a daily basis. I’ll literally sit there and think about the good shit that I have. The fact that I get to pick Isabelle up from school on a daily basis. That I GET to spend time with the kids instead of working a 9-5.

Don’t worry, I know I’m talking shit…

Look… I know I sound at least a little bit like a dickhead. Part of me thinks I need to suck it up. There are people out there going through a hell of a lot worse than some happily married man with three healthy kids and a job. And I know you can always play the “who has it worse game” and it’s stupid. Everyone’s feeling are valid and all that. Even if you have things “good” you can still struggle. I guess I just wanted to write shit.

Sometimes writing it makes me realise I sound silly and then I feel better, if that makes sense?

Like any time I feel stressed of “off” about something, I always imagine myself having to speak at a group therapy session.

Like the first guy stands up and goes “my wife died of cancer last month, I lost my job and now my nan said I’m adopted.”

Next person goes “I have AIDS. And Chlamydia. And Trichomoniasis. And Syphilis. And Gonorrhoea.”

Don’t ask what they’ve been doing.

Then someone goes “Ah, all my family died. And now I’ve lost my eyes and my left foot.”

Then I stand up and go “My kids fight sometimes and don’t listen. Sometimes they get up really early when I’m tired. And me and my wife, who loves me, feel like the dishes never really end and we’re always washing stuff. Oh, and our business sometimes feels really busy.”

I’d sound like a right wanker.

So whilst I don’t agree with minimising someone’s feelings, I guess it’s important to put some perspective on it? Like you could be the person with virtually every STI. I’d be proper shocked if that happened to me. Or Rachel. To be fair, if Rachel suddenly had Gonorrhoea then I’d have some question. Mainly… Where the fuck did you get the time to have an affair?

I'd be less worried about the affair at this stage, but more so how it was achieved? Like when the fuck did this happen?

Anyway… off point again…

Why do you read these? 😂

This shit literally gets sent to 10,000 people like 😂 you’re all fucking loons signing up for this.

Any “business” person would be telling me to bombard you with offers and sales and all that “marketing” shite. Meanwhile I’m talking about fuck knows what.

Still… you’d rather read this than an email going “DID YOU KNOW WE DO TEDDY POTS!!! ACT NOW TO GET ONE!!!”

I think I feel better to be fair.

I just need to dust myself off a little, make a list of shit that needs to get done, and then gradually do it. Accept the things that I can’t control, and do the best that I can. And also accept that the kids are going to be bellends 85% of the time. But that 15% makes it worth it.

I dare say I was a dickhead for… most of my life?

Anyway… that’s enough for one night.

I’ve probably gone in a little too deep here.

Thank you for reading!

Much love,

Ross & Rachel x

PS. Liners are back on the website.