Just a little trip to the doctors

Super cool ramble

Hello people of the internet! So last night I had a panic attack.

I had numbness in my arms, which is something I’ve had on and off for a while now, mixed with chest pains - don’t Google that shit - and then the numbness spread to my feet and I felt light headed and sick. Obviously a lovely dose of anxiety then kicked in and suddenly I felt like I was going to throw up.

Although instead of throwing up sick, I threw up tears. I was having a panic attack. Which isn’t the worst “attack” I could’ve had in that situation so I’ll take it.

Luckily I calmed down after “letting it out” and the chest pains subsided and I fell asleep. In fairness, having an A&E nurse for a wife helps, even if I did worry her last night.

But this morning I then booked an appointment with the doctor - seemed like the sensible idea - and a few hours later had a phone call appointment, which then led to an actual in-person appointment.

So what’s the verdict?

Luckily she didn’t think there was anything sinister going on with my heart. Which is the main concern to be fair. BUT… she does think I have some nerve issue going on in my neck.

Side note: Rachel guessed nerve issue so she’s happy. Not happy that I have nerve issues, but happy that she got it right.

The doctor did have a poke and a prod, did some touching on my hand - which I didn’t like as sometimes I’m a very touchy person with certain touches - and she felt like there was a big knot in my shoulder somewhere that was causing some sort of issue.

I’m getting referred for an MRI on my neck apparently as… I donno… something to do with my arms and stuff not reacting how they’re supposed to?

But she does think I need to chill out more. Stop carrying so much - sometimes physically and mentally - and maybe get back into yoga. Oh… and I have to work on my posture. Years of depression almost leads me to automatically hunch inwards somewhat when I sit instead of being up and open.

Maybe I need to do that thing where you roll a ball on your back? Or a roller thing? Something I guess.

But yeah… it’s been an issue for a while now so I’m glad last night kinda gave me the kick to sort it out. I’ve just kinda gotten on with it and I usually have to “reset” my arms every now and then so I look like this:

Rachel also thinks I’m probably suppressing stress. I guess I use the term “suppressing” because I don’t feel stressed. But maybe my body does? Like I feel ok. Or as ok as someone can be who has 3 young kids and a business to run. I do like the chaos, I feel more comfortable in it. I guess sometimes I make my own chaos. Like if things are quiet I find shit to do.

But if there is one thing I miss about Royal Mail it’s definitely the ability to totally switch off. You basically get to go for a nice walk for a few hours and zone out. Sure you sometimes have to pay attention to where you deliver stuff, but not really. I’m pretty sure Royal Mail’s slogan is “it’ll get there in the end. Maybe.” Or perhaps that was mind.

I think with Royal Mail I just liked coming home and being done. That’s it. No work, just whatever I want to do.

With Teddy Eva Scents that doesn’t exist. There is no day off. Sure I can “take a day off” but not really. It’s always there. Mentally or physically. Which 99% of the time I enjoy.

But I dare say I have to rethink the balance once again and allocate more time in the day to “relaxing” stuff. Like… stretching? Or yoga… or… sitting down? Do people just sit there? I like to sit in the shower if that counts. I like the noise. And I like having it cold. Anxiety doesn’t exist in a cold shower. You’re just like “shit it’s cold.”

So yeah… we’ll see how it goes now. At least I kinda know what’s up I guess, which is a bonus. At least I shouldn’t be as anxious now about it. I’ll still have death related anxiety, but that ain’t going anywhere any time soon.

Oh… and I’m not sure if this counts as the “too much information” type post. Like most people don’t broadcast their doctor appointments to the internet. But welcome to me I guess.

God I hope I never get piles.

Anything else…

Oh… we’ve added a cool “Bleeding Heart” pot to the website.

Which might have been a bad idea if shit went differently last night.

It’s one of those white ones that bleeds when you melt it. Only this time it’s not called a period pot so I’m probably not going to piss off random teenagers on TikTok. Damn it.

Oh… Here’s an exclusive for you lot of email people…

We’ve just added a Trick or Treat pot to the website too! Although I haven’t posted the TikTok video for it yet as it’s not finished. So you lot can hear about it first before it’s posted there.

Basically, it’s a pot where you might get a treat - like a nice scent - or a trick - so a weird/shit one. And it’s totally free so you don’t have to be mad if you get the trick. You might actually like the trick.

Both the trick and the treat are totally new scents too.

And no, the trick isn’t Baby Powder. I’m not that much of a dick.

So yeah… that should do for now…

Just wanted to come on here and say what was up. Hopefully I’ll be fine. I’ll try and make some adjustments and maybe even find a hobby. We’ll see.

Thank you for reading and for being part of all of this. You do all make it a lot easier that’s for sure. Until next time!

Much love,

Ross & Rachel x