Hey there people who read emails. I’m here to talk bollocks again. Only this time, I guess - at least by the title - that I’m going to talk about the summer holidays for some reason? Not sure why, but I’ve written the title now so I may as well carry on and actually write this thing. Or it’ll end up in the drafts with a good few others. Either way, we’ll see.
Trying to Embrace the Summer Holidays
The summer holidays for a LOT of people can be this dreaded time where you basically have to be surrounded by your kids for a prolonged period of time. On paper, it sounds lovely. But in realty, kids are dicks and spending too much time with them does occasionally make you look at them with questionable “why did I do this to myself” type expressions. Even more so when it’s hot as bollocks and you barely want to move as it is, let alone “interact” and do all these other energy consuming things you’re expected to do as a parent these days.
I mean whatever happened to the good old days where you got chucked out and told to come back before it was dark? Remember that? I swear I spent a good amount of my time as a kid just wandering around doing shit.
There’s sooooooo much more pressure on parents these days. If you don’t have an itinerary of creative activities planned, followed by day trips, healthy well-balanced meals and educational life lessons for your kid then you’re basically a MASSIVE failure.
Sometimes you just want to sit in front of the fan and tell them to twat about in the garden.
But there is one thing that I kinda want to do this 6 weeks holiday, and that’s some sort of “bucket list” for Isabelle.
Doing a “Bucket List” for Isabelle
Now the reason I say “Isabelle” here and not “Isabelle and Archie” - because we have two kids and they’re supposed to be treated equally and all that - is because Archie is a one year old. His bucket list would likely consist of the following:
Shit on the decking
Climb everything
Climb everything then shit on it
Eat stuff
So I’m not asking him what he wants to do.
Instead, I’m trying to get Isabelle to think about what she’d love to do, and then we can try our best to actually do some of those things. So far she’s wanted to ride on the bus, which was pretty easy.
Smashed that one.
Now she wants to ride on a train. Which shouldn’t be too difficult since we can simply catch the train to Cardiff and dick about in the city centre together. I might have to wait until Rachel can come for that one. I’m not sure if me solo parenting in the St. David’s centre with Isabelle and Archie is a good idea. Bye bye, kids.
After that, she wants to see Notre Dame in Paris.
Unfortunately for Isabelle, that’s a no for now.
As much as I reallllllly want to take her to Paris, I don’t think now is the right time given the current global circumstances and the fact that I really don’t have the money - or mental capacity for Archie - to go wondering around a foreign city.
BUT…
Salisbury Cathedral does look a little bit like Notre Dame, right?
I’d say that looks remarkably similar.
After that, I have no idea. I think so far we have:
Catch a train
See a cathedral
Camping (pitching a tent in the living room counts, right?)
Give daddy a one week holiday on his own to Norway
Not sure about that last one though.
Hand delivering more orders
One thing I actually want to do is hand-deliver more orders that we have via the business.
And by that, I don’t mean actual local ones, but ones from other places in the UK. For example, if we head down to Salisbury Cathedral, why not find someone with a subscription box on the way down, hand-deliver it and then go out for coffee or raid their fridge. Perhaps even allow said person to child mind for an hour disguised as a “meet and greet” with Archie and Isabelle? Not sure if you’re allowed to hand your kids over to strangers off the internet, but you never know.
I can have some fun with it by making videos of it, get to see some of you lot who’ve been with us for a while, and we get to go on some sort of a “business” trip.
Don’t panic though, I won’t just rock up at your house. I might message first to see if you’re in. Otherwise it’s going right in your bin with a note through your door. None of this “we’ll try tomorrow” bollocks. Back in my day at Royal Mail I used to pride myself on trying to bring very little back with me, even if it technically meant breaking Royal Mail proceedure. What were they going to do, fire me? Cool. Go for it.
But we’ll see what happens with all of that.
I just wanna try and do some fun shit until September
Basically, I understand that the 6 weeks holiday will be a little bit of a chaotic shit show. Even more so when you have a toilet training puppy and a toilet training 19 month old.
But it’s all about perspective. You can let the mess and the feeling of constantly having a child in your personal space get the better of you - and sometimes it absolutely does - or you can embrace the fact that everything is going to be disorganised, mildly annoying, messy and somewhat irritating and just run with it. I’m trying to be the latter. At the end of the day, we can always have some normalcy come September. Until then, life is all about creating memories, right?
Anyway… that’ll do me for now. It’s like 7:20am Archie is up, half naked and pestering me for a lolly after he’s dribbled 30% of his cereal on the worktop and Isabelle and Rachel will likely be awake soon too. It’s probably going to be another day where it’s annoyingly too hot, so my excitement is bubbling over.
Hope you’re all good. Just try and embrace the shit show and take this 6 weeks for what it is: a time for kids to dick about while you tread water on your sanity.
Until next time.
Much love,
Ross & Rachel
Hey Ross, I actually enjoy reading your bollocks emails it takes me away from the 💩 I’m dealing with , so it helps you to write it and me to read it win win I say.
I hope Isabelle enjoys going on the train my godson loves them and since the age of 3 said he was going to be a train driver when he grows up he’s now 9 and still says it so he’s definitely sticking with it. It all started with thomas the tank engine and our visit to see the fat controller / sir topham-hat . As for going to Paris when you do go if there is room in the suitcase can you smuggle me in please lol 😂 anyway now I’m babbling so enjoy the days out with Isabelle and Archie and Rachel . Sending hugs to you all xxx Loulou
If you wanna ditch the kids with me that's cool 😂 I'd happily have them both for an hour, would remind me of what I'm missing out on with my 2 🤣.
Yeah daddy trip on his own to Norway don't think that would happen 🇳🇴
Pitching tent in front room that's cheating, lay under the stars is a better one in the back garden especially with the weather.
Enjoy the shit show as u call it 😂 I got a 31 year old that acts like a 5 year old at times so trying to keep that entertained and not bored is fun