More Naughty Stuff Now Live

Yeah... this is a more "inappropriate" email

Hello there people of the internet! I’m about to talk about naughty stuff. Sorry in advance to those that don’t want to read about that sort of stuff, but welcome to our newsletter. You never know what you might get.

Ah don’t panic, it won’t be that bad.

Honestly though…

Don’t read on if you don’t like me swearing or talking about naughty stuff.

PLEASE STOP.

DON’T GO ON.

YOU’VE BEEN WARNED…

Do you like putting things up your butt?

Ah I’m only joking! That was a test to see if you’d read it, panic, block me, and run away.

Well done for continuing on.

Or… now I’m dubious that you read on? What the hell are you hoping for!?

Anyway…

Speaking of butt holes.

Isabelle came up with her first ever Cockshell name the other day. Which is a very proud moment for me as a parent. She turned Lemon Sherbet into…

Don’t worry. She didn’t come up with the design. That was all me. But still.

We’ve added more naughty boxes

Yep. The Wand Naughty Boxes are back on the website. So there’s one for those that like… Well, you know…

I’m sorry… I really am. But yeah… we’ve added more…

We’ve also added a NEW sex toy

It basically looks like this.

I think it goes up the… you know… the ol’ vagina. And then you press them buttons, some whizzing happens and you need to do some washing. So yeah… That’s £39.99 - it’s £59.99 on the places I found it so don’t say I don’t try and bring you affordable pleasure - and you can have 15% off Cockshells if you add it to the basket. Hopefully. If the automatic discount works.

Edit: Nope. Shopify won’t let me do it the way I won’t. So if you do order the toy and Cockshells, then we’ll refund 15% of the Cockshell value for you after you’ve ordered. That’s the best I can do.

Do you like Corn on the Cob?

Right… Now I really am sorry…

But do you have a fetish for farmers?

Or maybe hard vegetables?

Well we have the box for you.

Look… let me explain.

When we buy all these sex toys and stuff, sometimes I have a little peruse at what else is available. Sometimes I come across weird stuff. Like a corn on the cob vibrator.

Never mind… I listed these boxes whilst writing this and one has sold so there’s one left. People are weird. They’re probably now all gone and I’m gonna have to order more fucking corn on the cob vibrators for people. What is life.

Sorry… they’re now gone.

Waste of time writing all of that and looking like a proper weirdo.

Anyway…

That’s the end of this newsletter. Thank you for reading this very weird load of shite.

I’m off to find more vegetable sex toys.

Much love,

Ross & Rachel x